j u d i t h nainggolan

It's been 3 years now...

2011-11-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

& finally I was able to let go and let God. Today's praise and worship was unlike no other… it’s what I needed. I made a complete fool out of myself by ‘yelling’ into the microphone while everyone just stared at me shocked during worship; but those yells were a rush of three years of pain and misery that I had comprised inside for too long. Finally I felt like myself, finally I felt like I wasn’t alone, finally I felt forgiven. Before, I entirely lost sight of God’s love for me, mistreated myself and underpriced my worth. Sure, nobody saw the pain I held because I had too much pride to let them see me weak and emotional. But I was completely broken and so alone inside. I hated myself. I hated what I’ve done in the past and the person I’ve become… I couldn’t forgive myself. So how did I manage not to just end my life? Grace, God’s grace. I don’t deserve any of it but He never failed to love me.

A couple of days ago, I found myself walking into my room heavy with disappointment yet so empty. Next thing I knew, I just broke down crying. I couldn’t stop, more tears kept rushing down my face and I basically cried until I literally had no more muscle strength to continue. It was hard because I tried to stay quiet so I wouldn’t wake up my family. So many things were rushing through my mind as I held my face inside a towel. Why did I do it? God, why did this have to happen to me? Why am I like this and like that? WHY WHY WHY?! I stayed in an awkward clenching position for an hour just waiting to see what to do with myself. Nothing felt right anymore, nothing was right. My relationship with my family and friends has been dying, I can’t maintain perfect grades, I lost all motivation to better myself, and had no desire for to pursue my dreams. But slowly God began to speak to me as I began to quiet my mind. For some reason I heard “love yourself”. A little stunned but I began to pray and just ask God to help me forgive myself with the acts I’ve committed. “Humbleness” was the next word. My pride kept me alone and unsatisfied with my life. I refused to let anyone get too close with me because I always thought I didn’t need anyone’s help, or I just didn’t trust anyone. Then more and more God spoke to my heart and was able to transform me completely. It was amazing.

So no, I’m not ashamed for yelling like some crazy person during worship. I was so thirsty for God’s presence to reign down and touch my life as well as others in the youth. IT WAS TIME TO FINALLY TEAR DOWN THE WALLS! No more was I going to fake my feelings and live life carelessly. I give God the highest praise and gratitude. God is so, so, so good <3

Bolted.

2011-04-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

I just want to let you know that i'm hurt. Hurt for never being good enough for you and your expectations. That even how hard i try, it's never noticed. I won't mention your name because i can't disrespect you. I'll just keep going thinking that everything will just be okay at the end. God loves me at least. He's really all i need, so why are you always there to ruin it once in a while. I know when i look back to read this at a time when i like you, this will look like bs and emotional. But just for the times that i feel like bs, its here to keep. Gah Judith, you need to man up.

Today, a man named Tim told me to continue writing to God.

2011-02-13T22:05:00.000-08:00

Something i’m really taking into consideration. I’ve always kept a notebook on my desk to write whenever i had time but that was the problem, i never had time. But the funny thing is, or sad… how is it that i can’t have time for God? He’s done amazing things in my life and yet i loose sight of him. It’s like he’s calling out to me trying to get my attention. But yet, rejection is what i’ve been giving to him. Oh, and i’ve been so scared to be rejected by the world, but i myself is guilty of rejecting the one who will never ever reject me. God you’ve always loved me through all my failures. I seriously can’t thank you enough.

l o v e ?

2010-11-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

'Love must be relentless regardless of how it is treated. Whether neglected, mocked or crucified, it endures and resolves to give even more. It embraces those who fight it and strengthens those who receive it. It gives freely and shows intense kindness no matter how frightening or awkward the situation. It is brave even when it does not feel so. It steps into unknown places and fears no rejection. It does not distinguish between beautiful and ugly, rich and poor, personable or antisocial. It doesn't strive to be on top or seek approval, but rejoices in the blessings of others. It expects absolutely nothing in return. Love forgives even before it is wronged and gives bitterness no opportunity to take root. It sees hope in all circumstances even when tempted to despair.'

summer2k10

2010-05-31T22:38:00.000-07:00

sooo summer is back once again and i'm so soked! so far its been really great and each day has been pretty proactive. the day when school ended i chilled with some skillets at vg where we took a pic with aj and andrew, OH! and overdosed on johnny rockets :)). && i think afterwards i just played some ball with the bros. Thursday, i slept it for once and just enjoyed the summer days, it finally kicked in haha i tried to shop for a bikini, fail everything was ugly. Friday i did all school shopping, great back to school again. so i almost missed carecell which we basically just worked on changing our youth room, pretty dope man. saturday was chelsea's bday party WOOOO fun :D cards, foods, lakers winning, etc etc etc. me, jess, and pauline in her car priceless <3 oh i also got my new doggie, puppy chiwawa crystal (: and her sister jade! . SUnday was funnn, service outside int the park which my bro's and i came late to, fail. then went last minute shopping for mel's dinner that same night. it was fun with aggie,kezia,josh and matt loooking around montclair mall (: finally got her this sentimental snow globe thingy, so cutes. afterwards helped out at church with paint and stuff, and came late to her party but it was still funnn as heck, i love you mel, OH and aggie! hahah afterwards was funn, AFTER PARTy at the parking lot of luciels!! FTW ahaha yeah. and monday, i just continue working at the church from 11 to like 6ishh. finally got things right with bro (: ate in-n-out with peeps, had ko yongki's famous mango smoootie! and watched the blind side on their big screen :D yay!

Realization

2010-05-24T00:03:00.000-07:00

perspective. i need to see both sides. Lately i've been always leaning towards what i felt and how i saw things my way. But once i realize something totally differnt fromt that person or thing, its like idk. shocking i guess you can say. it makes me feel sorry for ever treating something/one like that. hmmmm Jesus forgive me for ever judging people when i don't even know them truely. Help me give things a chance. Connecting to this, i hope you're okay. Know that you're always in my prayers and please keep your head up high. I love you forever no matter what <3

Leaning on God

2010-05-24T00:01:00.001-07:00

making my life a living testimony. No longer the same. Changing for the better :)

sigh

2010-03-19T22:37:00.000-07:00

i just jammed my finger and it started to bleed.
but the physical pain is nothing compared to...
yeah. sighh

"little blue indian" by Adelle Veronica // LOOKBOOK.nu

2010-01-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

"little blue indian" by Adelle Veronica // LOOKBOOK.nu

011610 TTMAB weekend! <3

2010-01-18T11:36:00.000-08:00

haaaay there :) yes i've been laggin lots but i'm back cause i just had to blog this! my weekend was seriously the bullet. i freaking loved it to death! so first of all i end school on friday and watch the bball jv game with my girls, jessica and lauren <3 hahah it was so much fun but we were hungy as heck! then jess was all over this one doode on the other team (osos) HAHA i have to admit he did have a nice smile. then lauren and me were counting how many times pat (osos) was looking at jess, geees like 20 times! it was so funny and awkward. after the game, we won :D, we decided to take some pictures! yeeeeeah buddy haha and we just talked acted weird as usual. so then the osos players got out of the gym and started walking out so jess wanted to go walk there too haha. omgshhhh she couldn't get over the josh guy with his smile, she's so cute hahhahah. darn i was pretty sad that josh and his fam couldn't go :/ but its all good. so that night i went to carecell and had a pretty deep bible study about being a diciple of God and what not. played some bball and went home :)
SO SATURDAY :) i woke up late and accidently miss practice. once my brothers left went online til like 12ishh haha fail. then all of a sudden my brother comes back with jason and gerrit, omg i freaking ran to get ready and craaap haha omg so funny. so we chilled and they got their haircut from my broo. it took me forever to pack my clothes since i was going to sleeep at the tenoyos <3 once we got there, haha we were late as indos (; but then they made us make the satays -__- so painful and cold haha but thens i traded with my bro with something easeir. freaking wongso is so homo and got josiah matching shirts and boxers the heck? and then i fing out that i'm matching them too with aggie, mel, and devin. ohhhh maaan. before we left to go to the wire for TTMAB, we chilled telling racist and dumb blonde jokes FUNNY APho! then around 7ishh we left. jam went with wongso! yay haha soo funny cause he was racing with my bro && freaking gee i was so scared to death but i loved it so much! HAHA. wongso was lame and went the wrong way for like 20 minutes we got there so late but in time for ttmab. most of the time i was happy to spend time with "jacket" haha :) so like wire was a lot smaller than i thought and the first band sucked! omgsh no offense to walnut or anything but i couldn't hear a single word and the music was just too bangin on the heart haha. but props to them for their first gig. next was TTMAB and OMG the croweded pushed so much, i wanted to be near the front too. seriously they were soooooo GOOOD live! omg omg omg i'm still missing everything. i love their artisty and originality! i thought they were too good to be playing here. but there was matt, david, albert!, DK!! :) and the bass dooode (sorry) haha. after the show there were more bands but we ( 30ish peeps) left HAHA. i bought like 3 shirts for bros and me & their CD !! so then we took pics outside with the band and ommgshh freaking jam couldn't stop presuring me ((((; hahaha i knoww guys i'm still kinda regreting it. darn. but afterwards jam went to ride with nb and james. NOTHING COULD HAVE ENDED THE NIGHT ANY BETTER [: haha it was just soo funny to chill with them. i freaking love that group. they taught me the like yellow light make a wish thing haha and then joshie took us to CLASS 302<3 showingg us the cloug mango ice OMGSHHH so good. the place is soo cute too! i have to go there again <3 then afterwards we ran back to nbs car and locked him out! HAHAH sukkah (; after he took us back to the tenoyos, jam ate like pigs! haha we were so hungry xD we then had a jam seesh like always and went to sleep. the best night in a long time. <3333
sunday was okayy i was still memorizing about saturday, i seriusly had that much fun and DK omgsh :DDDD HAHAHAHHA. but the morning was cold and we had to get ready for church. we got there around 9ish and helped set up for fundraising. i also had to sing for praise and worship with peeps, it was funn, i love being in music ministry. OH and there were new peeps yay! haha so then after church jam pigged out and then had a meeting in the sancturary cause ci hilly and ko yongki came back!!!! YEEEAH BUDDY :D she said this one like that really got to me, "we need to make the choice, and God will make the change" oh man. so then afterwards, hiphop crew practice for awhile and i went home to go shopping besties present. that was basically it. BYE (;

blogspot.

2009-12-22T12:58:00.001-08:00

i miss talking to youu
seriously.

the last few minutes before turning sixteen

2009-11-27T23:22:00.000-08:00

wooow, i'm really going to be sixteen years old. haha duude that was so fast. i seriously didn't think this momment would actually come aha. shooot when i was young i would alwasy be like "i can't wait til i'm sixteen" and bam here i am awaiting the seconds away. at first i guess i was a il bumbed about getting older cause these times are going by so fast. i just want it to stay at this time for forever but i soon began to appreciate the "now" every momment because i don't want to waste my time longing for the past. So i hope for great things in this year yet to come, praying that i will be a better person as much as i can. i'm finally here babyyy aha yeeeeah boy (;

FALL RALLY '09

2009-11-15T00:52:00.001-08:00

KEY CLUBERS, HOW DO YOU FEEL?! seriously i heard that a million times today. haha it was funnn. so i wake up super early for nothing; apprently our bus came 2 hours late FAIL. our shirts look pretty good this year too (; so i almost fell asleep on the bus but then peeps were cheering so loud in it. funny that we got athena and austin to sit together (; aha once we got to six flags, omg it was soooo full. like all i saw were asians lol BUT THEN OMG when jm and i were reaching the entrance we saw this really reaaly obber cute guy<3 omg he was number one of the dayy BAHA xD so chilled with the asians: athena, danielle, jonjon, nhan, minty, gil, gio, austin [: suuuper fun, went on viper(eww) and tatsu!! <3 best ride everr man. then it took us forever to get food cause we were walking everywhere. finally went to johnny rockets which took forever to wait in line. after that went to the rally and it was so PUMPED and hyped. i seriously lost muuuuh voice D: haha. but i'm pretty bummed that our division didn't place even when we're to hugest yoo; but D15 D15 D15 D15! <33 but on the real it was still fun. hail yeah! then afterwards we were splitted form everyone and it was just me jm and athena. haha omg we had to like jog a mountain cause we got lost. it was almsot 5:30 and jm wanted her funnel cuke, haha so we cut a line of like 50 peeps yoo (; and then with the president, all of us ran with our cakes to the buss; HAHAHAH soooooo funay man. but i think the best part was the bus home cause i got to sit with nhan and we talked about everything xD and then freakin jonnmarie and best budd were buggin with peeps LOL. i love it <3

some fun during the weekday C:

2009-11-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

mmmkay, so yesterday night i had some plans to chill with josh and matt to practice for open mic night at our church. i was soo excited the whole day. sadly it didn't turn out as great as i thought but i still had funn. so nb picked me around 5 (sorry that it took you an hour to get here) but yeahh then we drove to matt's house to pick him up, i just wanted to wait outside, but he insisted for me to come it. omgshh miso is soo funny, cute cute dogg ahaa. afterwards we drove to nb's house and jammed there picking out our songs. haha omgshh it took us forever cause we kept getting distracted with youtube (; but shoooooot these two fellahs truely have passion for music mann. their talent is just soo Boss yoo! baha then we called mel and aggie to chill with us. we all wanted to go to cue cause all of our buddies were here, but then james didn't want to go lol darn. so we ate at yogartland and carle's jr. and chit chat. youuuu know. then we decided we still wanted to go to cue so we drove there but it was closed :/ after wasting so much time finding something to do, bro called me saying i got to go home and mommy was man, oooops D: but nb was able to take me home (THANKS :D) okay night, hopefully better oones soon to come.

can you say lag?

2009-11-09T20:08:00.000-08:00

duuuuuuude, its been awhile man. i feel like i have no life, no time to do this anymore. but lets see if i remember any updates... hmm, well i had like one of the best weekends ever. friday i had carecell which was pretty chill then on saturday i had the art of dreaming concert. oh boy, that was funnnn [: got to see label seven perform and others woooop ^^ then on sunday it started off pretty bad cause of "pride", i started to tear at churchhh it was bad and plus the fact that i had to sing alone. omgshh i failed ahahhaha. but the day ended up nice with shopping [;
lately i've been trying to be optimistic and everything. there has been many problems and issues that i've delt with, it just seems to impossible to control. maybe its how i react to it, idk but i'm really thankful for the art of dreaming cause it really encourages me in a way. thank God

omgshhh i really don't want this year to end D: it was seriusly one of the best ever
<333 i'm going to miss it soo much. so many funnnn days to remember oh mann.

i too live to play

2009-10-06T21:19:00.000-07:00

tennis tennis tennis; i'm loving it more each day. i seriously can't get enough. i'm trying to "convert" doubles to singles now and i had to play with jv to boost up my confidence, because apparently i don't have any... so first game i lost 2-6 and i cried cause it was freaking jv and i kept messing up with dumb mistakes. after that i was like totally blue and sad. i didn't even want to see anyone because i didn't wnat anyone to ask for my score. but then i realize that it wasn't going to do any good and moping around. this was just an experience and i just need to keep on progressing and play better. so my second game i was able to win 6-2 [: thankfully. i was more confident and focus this time. it felt good to win but then there are still much room for improvement. afterwards i decided to rally with the other players for funn, it was really chill. i really want to be the best i can me. and i'm willing to put in the time and effort to be beaasty! i pray for hopeful things in the future :DD

a bipolar momment

2009-09-21T22:15:00.001-07:00

maaaan i was feeling so optomistic this morning and then it turned to depression. haha jk! but i'm not soo thrilled about anything anymore... life is so unfair sometimes. ugh but at least not that much hw ^_^

ohsnaaaaaps!

2009-09-20T20:00:00.001-07:00

sheeeesh it's been awhile mann. so many things happened but i think i forgot :/ awwh. Well lets see, on sunday, september six was my youth's and college back to school beach kickback. that day was probably one of the best days i had in a long time. so we meet up at church which we came really alte too, so embarassing. then we gets ready to depart to hunington beach. i went w/ wongso, bert, aggie, and mel; funnn groupw [: we kept talking and we ended up being the first group there. so we played football for awhile and then went to teh water. duuuuuuude hunington is probably one of the best beaches i've been to. i love how it's shores are so wide and shallow <3 the water was so clear and the sun wasn't that hot. best place to be atm. everyone then starts to come and then i all of a sudden find a clam while play9inig with teh sand with my feet. then i became like so pro and helped everyone else find a clam xD ahhaha. it was funny cause everyone who found one, perfectly matched with them. then mel, aggie, and me starting this thing we call "JAM session" where we would talk about everything happening. i so so so love them to the max. next we ate and played some vball. geez mama i suck! it was still fun tho, then we made football/bbal out of random, now that was funn! random but awesome [: i got to see the sunset too for like a lil while. it was soo pretty and still. next next next was bomb FIRE [: those are always funn ahha. jammed with some peeps on the g and made some smores yummmy. i didnt want the day to end but it wasn't over just yet. we then had an in-n-out group wth wongsos, josh, albert, eben, keziah, and my bros. that time was like the highlight of the day. i can't remember a momment when i laughed soo hard, i seriously got a huge headache. we were like talking what names we would name our kids then all of a sudden wongso was like, What if i named mine "pennis" and we were like saying stories if it was true like "pennis, you've grown" - josh HAHHAHA or like if we wanted to pray of him, it be like "lets strech our hands to Pennis" LMBO! so funny but soo wrong. haha
On Friday, the 11 i got to be in the hc ralley because i made varsity tennis this year!! woop woop it was soo fun screaming and being all pumped up. 1st ralley was better than the second tho. i screamed for tennis and for kat<33 who was running for hc queen.. later one that day was the hc game and i sat with the tennis girls; i got to see matt, miss that fool. sadly, kat didn't win but she still had the best dress aha. i helped with the sophomore float and walked on the tract. when i went back to the stands, budd was like i'm thirsty so we get soda and she finished it so fast. she was still thirsty -___- in the end we drank like 10 cans and got soo hyper, especially jess; she was basically drunk lol. in the end we won by like 20 woop woop [[[: sadly, i missed my tennis tournament cause i wasn't feeling too well, i cried ugh. at least i got to play that sunday woohooo lol
thursday, september 17 was jv tennis match agaisnt marietta, by far the best away game with pauline and jess <3 i think we've gotten soo close that day. it was chill cause we were able to get a charter buss to there, i fell alseep cause it was like an hour away xD jess and i were number one double we didn't do so well casue we were mad that we had to play jv ughh. after we were done winning, we walked around teh school and chilled iwht pauline; ohh i also got to lead the cheer :DDD haah. and frigin coach was like leaning on pauline, poor girl hahaha. while we were waiting for our bus, that's when we starting chit chatting about random things, but we got piss cause we had to wait for like an hour -___- FAIL. but our coach let us stop by carles jr [: i was soo hungry. the bus ride home was besst, that's when we went all out and shared eveything, we even made some insiders <33 imma miss that day
Saturday, 19: went to the tenoyo's to make team shirts for dixie chicks. went there at 6 and we began to artistrate [: then we went outside to skill up; soo funn, we even made plays like 1,2; Jesus; ROL; Change; HELP and Switch soo ballin. i ended up staying there til 1:30 sorry jo
Sunday, 20: BBALL TOURAMENT. yeahh we came out with our bright green shirst and i was totally pumped tho we lost to dixie men -____- biter! hahha but we did alrights i guess 3-7 haha. they ended up winnin in the end so it was all chill. it was really hot and i was almost about to pass out, so scarry. playing today made me mmiss bball a lot. i seriuosly never played this hard, this beasty, this aggressive. i scared myslef. i def D-ed up yooo! then we went to in-n-out again to chill; finally got the snappinig game YAY :D

UPDATE!!

2009-09-02T22:22:00.001-07:00

oh hi there(: i know, it's been awhile since i've blogged. one thing i was really busy and the other i had some issues with things but anypoo my life has been so uppity right now. well actually i've been on a major rollercoaster. after the retreat, life has actually been really harder than normal and i was actually drifting than getting closer to God. I was really being selfish and not caring about anything else but i thankfully he broke that in the prayer night. Plus the Praise night was pretty chill even though there wasn't that many people i had an awesome time being apart of the mini skit. LOL aht was sooo FUNNY! gerrit and his fob self hahah. Also watching the retreat video really brought back the experience. hmmm school is getting better and stuff with friends. Today i helped asb make posters for the homecoming rally til like 7:30 ohgee that was soo tiring but it was funn (: john is soo awesome, i need to chill wit him more aha. However kathie oh just had to move away DDD: i'm like soo sad, especially when she's not there in chem anymore.... ughh why KO?! we better keep in touch like until forever, even when you and josh get married and make babies who you'll name judith if she's a girl. HAHAHHA naah joking but seriously we got to go to cue before you leave (((: i freaking love you <3 thanks for being such an awesome friend who listened through all my craziness and accepted me for me. i'll never forget youu homes (; well other things happen too but i can't think right now cause i got soo muchh hw. wooop -___- but cheaaa HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY BEAAAAAAA :DDDD

two days of funnn

2009-08-16T01:50:00.000-07:00

friday: woooo first week ended [: pretty funn week to start off the school year, now i'm a lil more excited for this year. i think the mmost interesting part at school was after tennis practice. some of us stayed to play some more til around 4:30ishh. i was showing everyone how i grunt "PENIS!" haha don't ask xD but yeahh it helps me hit harder but yeahh shoooot best bud was like laughing soo hard and then everyone else was trying to make their own. theeeen gigi all of a sudden started messing around with people's stuff and hiding it everywhere LOL. we then got into a water fight, but however i was too nice and couldn't get her back. she tought it was the fact that i didn't know how. of course i did, but i felt like bad? haha shoooooot idk. but she then got me good and thats when i went back haha. later that day i played on the trampoline with dio and jonathan <3 & ohmuuuuh, it brought back the childhood memories haha, we played our own made up game again and we couldn't even beat it haha FAIL. (; it was suuuper fun though, i felt like i was 11 again. sadly my brother left me to go to carecell, that jerk! but i had funn at home watching my youtube videos of course. i finnaly got to see "she's the man" awww very funny and cute movie aha. that's basically it

Saturday: woooo busy busy day. had to get ready to go to becca's surprise 16th birthday party. sadly we were too late for the surprise since we live like an hour and something minutes away. but it was all good. it was soo friggin` hillarious when we got there cause like we weren't exactly sure if the surpised occured or not. so once we got close to the area, i thought i saw rebecca from the distance and i told jo to stop driving! so he did, and then we tried to back up on a one way street and hide xD we then found out that it was ci irene the entire time and i felt like a complete idiot ahahha. everyone was like already there and finished eating. we then went straight to game. the first game was basically to see who new about rebecca the most and our group failed haha. then the other one was like a scavenger hunt around her house to find items on a list and take a picture of it on a camera phone. my goup failed once again lol. next was speaches given out by her family and closest friends. Her mom's and sharon's made me tear a lil but everyone's was great. we cut the cake and took pictures, Oh and watched the movie about her. there was this one quote on it that really related to me "when words fail, music speaks" then everyone got ready to go to the laguna beach and i was with the boys (dio, jo, jason, & matt) hahah it was funny cause i was playing my music and they were all singing to it xD soo funny to be with them. we picked a spot at the very end of the beach near the rocks. it wass really nice to go to the beack, i mean like finally! i've been wanting to go this whole summer. i took lots and lots of pictures. we then played tug o war and was randomly splited up. sadly it was like 2 to 1 and my side barely had anyone. but luckily some other people started to help us haha xD in the end we still loss but it was still funn. though my hands hurts :/ later on we played a couple more times with differnt teams like girls again guys (olanonsoyos) and our fam against others xD "Olanonsoyos UNITE!" BAHAHAH devin [x heckk yeah we won shooot. but yeahh watched the sunset and had more funn lol. we then went back and that ride was even better !! we ate at becca's house again and then had to leave to go to our cousin's bday party. but by the time i got there i was already knocked out. hahha yeahh. funnn weekend [:

First day of Sophomore year

2009-08-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

this is actually for yesterday, august 10th but i was a lil busy. Ok so first day of school not too bad [: got to seem almost everyone i wanted too, and i was especially excited to seem some of the new freshies. so woke up around 6ish and got ready to start walking at 7 with bfe. but i guess my mom didn't want me to walk on my first day so she took us there instead. woop woop. when we got there our original plan was actually for jm to change her schedule but the line was too long. so we just met up with everyone else at the "nerd" table haha. i guess i was just too caught up in the momment that i didn't hear the school bell and i only had a minute left to get to class. it was freakin lame, though funny cause dennise and i went to wrong way and had to go around the e building. yuuup we were late our first day ahaa. so first class was english 2, her class is pretty chill and there's lots of peeps i know in it as well. teacher is really chill to & i like her style yooo! next period was latin 2 and i just found out that her class got switched to the p building. her class is not more bigger in a way. but latin was latin nothing new, except now i have best bud with meeeee (: ohmygaaaaaaaash next was world history which is in the t pods which are on the other side of school -__- i have no time to social talk cause it takes alll my time there to get there aha. thank God i have dennise to walk with me to all my classes. mr. batcheller is pretty cool i guess, tho i heard he gives lots of work booo. but i was happy danae was in my class (: he had us do this thing where we had to get to know a person in the class and i got randomly paired up with nhan x] hahah weeee and he got freakin picked on to talked about me. he told eveyone how i thought history is really boring and it's true. hopefully this year will be different. mkkay next is algebra 2, the class is ehh. not a lot of peeps i knoww but it's all good. i had to go pee so bad in that class cause i've been holding it since 2nd. all my classes just has to be soo deng cold, forreals. that was the only class where i had hw. then came lunch, screwww 2nd lunch ughh. most of my friends has 1st D: it was like mainly me, jonjon, danielle, gio, van, jared, carlos, and the freshmens haha. next chemisty which was pretty chill. i love the teacher cause she's sooo chill aha. woop woop i have kathie oh in there :DDD. next was supposely tennis but all the athelets were sent to the gym for a meeting. they made us do this signing crap to get approval to play. so we coudn't playy :/ afterschool just met up with the same peeps, chit chat a bit and then walked home with bfe & kathie. duuuuude it was so hot and ickkky. sooo whack. went home and took a nap (;

last day of summertime o9

2009-08-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

sadly my school district has to be so lame and start the school year of really early. summer was way to short and it was even getting better. even though i didn't do much, i still had an awesome time (: but anypoo i'm just starting to prepare haha. i really pray this school year will be a good one. hopefully w/ less drama and stress. freshmen year was oober fast and i hear that this sophomore is the slowest? but i'm willing to live each day to the fullest. i guess i'm kinda excited to start fresh in a way and meet new people :D i really like my schedule but not the lunch. boo second lunch aha. this year i'm trying to be more bold in a way, just be myself and yeah make good decision. too bad i'm like really lazy right now haha. just had in n out with the youth ! yuummmmy [: haha omgshh we're so whack but i love it, we were a lil bored at the tables, so muuuh group decided to start that "OOOOOOOOOH" thing just to bring attention and it worked BAHAHA yeeeeeeeah! thanks nocturnal buddy for paying haha hmmm well i guess that's it for now? mmkay then bye summer 09, it was an awesome break :D hello sophomore year; LETS GO :DDD

SIX FLAGSS !!

2009-08-05T18:49:00.001-07:00

This was on August 4, 2009

Sean's bowling bday

2009-08-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

Ok so today was my budd, sean's bday hangout at the bowling alley (; it was pretty funn! my day started off just chillen at home doing nothing as usual haha, then i had to get ready in 30 minutes (shower everything) cause jm didn't let me know when she was going to take me. once we get to the bowling alley, sean calls me and tells me that we couldn't go there cause all the lanes were close til 9 cause there was this tournament. so we then had to drive to the one in upland. it was me, jm, jess, marj, and sean waiting for everyone else to come. after like 15 minutes of waiting, here comes brandoo, nhan, jared, michelle, abby, and jamille. we splitted the the two lanes we were given with me, sean, jm, jess, and jared on one lane and the rest on the other. omgshh i got a freaking strike on my first one! that was sooo legit (; haha anypoo it was funn chillen with everyone again. we finally went bowling after like two years from planning it hahaha. we took so many pics and vids of everything. it was funny towards the end cause we were all tryinig to fight for the bowling lanes, like we would randomly run up and just throw the ball in LOL. and then jess did nhan's hair, awwwh too cute (x i really want to thank his parents for paying for everything and taking me home. I was soo happy to chill with him again cause i won'g be able to see him in a year cause that foo aint moving backk D: haha at the end once we were outside around 9ishh i finally gave him a suprise attack with silly string xD OWNAGE hahha. omgshh i love you budd <3

Youth Retreat o9

2009-08-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

GOT DEEP? BLUE'S GOT IT! PA-POW! :D

well this retreat was actually pretty good. i wondered if it would meet up to the one last yeah, and to my opinion it went beyond :D
Friday: got to church a lil late cause of late packing haha; it was around 4ish? packed my belongings in the bus and then prayed before we left. i was also given this lil bag that had everything i needed to prepare me for the retreat, plus i found out that i was on the BLUE team :D woop woop. so the bus ride there was ok, i sat next to aggie [[: i think i got a lil headache plus the fact that it was really hot didn't help at all. the ac in the bus was barely working and it smelled so bad :/ the driver would only turn it on once in awhile. sadly, we got lost haha but then we found our way, thank God after like 2 hours. Once we got there we unpacked our things into our cabins, i got cabin 27 (which is the best cabin for girls) haha then everyone was called back into the bus area. we were then separated into our colored groups and had to pick a team leader and create a war cry rant. so the blue team chose sarah and rebecca helped create our rant: GOT DEEP? BLUE'S GOT IT! PA-POW!! haha it was pretty legit; every other team was jealous hehe. the other colors were yellow, purpal, and green. Then it was session one and we had praise and worship and pastor paul preaching. after that the youth planned a surprise attack for issac since it was his 24th birthday. we had silly string, shaving cream, cake, soda. so once he got out of the chapel we all attacked him. it wa pretty epic. once that was over he attacked us back by huggin -___- i was soo mad cause it ruined everything i wore including my bag. ughh haha it took awhile just to wipe me clean. after that everyone decided to eat at the cafeteria which is soo far from my cabin. once i got there i so on lim with his messed up camera and hearing aid ruined. i was shocked. he apprently was also attacked with issac and i guess none of us saw? he got really upset so he told the entire youth to walk back to the chapel to have a word with us. snaaaaps :/ so i had to leave my cup noodles and walk all the way back. omgshh once everyone was there it was scary. pastor paul gave us this speach saying that if we did that to him, he would beat us up. i was scared haha. then we prayed for om lim asking for forgiveness and healing. once back to the cabin got ready to sleep. it sucks in this camp cause the bathroom is a whole differen't building, so we have to walk all the way there. when i was about to sleep, rebecca wanted to go to the cafeteria to get tissues so i guess i wanted to come along since i couldn't sleep. after leaving the cafeteria, we went to the bathroom cause she said that she had a bleeding nose. omgshh she was bleeding like crazy, i was so worried cause it didn't stop for like 30 minutes. but i was glad to help her :D once it stopped bleeding we left but then all of a sudden we heard boys (next bathroom) we found out that it was job and albert in the shower? cause the water was running and we could hear their voices. all of a sudden becca and i hear a slapping five times! LOL!! omgshhh we were dying inside xD then out loud she said goodnight and they got all '!!" hahah funny funny funny.

class schedule

2009-07-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

sooo today i had to pic up my schedule and take my picture for school. Here's my schedule:
h english II - safari
latin II - Bryce
h world history - batcheller
h algebra II - frenken
h chemisty - forsyth
tennis :) - lunt

yuup, i'm alright with it i guess. didn't really get all the teachers i want. but i'm still thankful. i'm kinda mad that i barely got any classes with jm! however i'm soo thrilled to have all the same classes as my tennis buddy, dennise! haha :DD it was great to see everyone again, it's been awhile. but then again, it just felt like yesterday that school ended. summer was way to fast D: i was soo sad to come back haha. cause school for me sometimes mean no socail life ughhhh. well yeah only a couple more days now. right now i'm just listening to the bof's soundtrack (: haha i'm not addicted! but today should get even better, vallen is suppose to come back here today, so yay! (:

hahah not to shabby :]

2009-07-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

well today i offically got my permit! (: haha i'm soo thrilled to finally start driving. good thing i had an appointment cause ohmy that line was mutherrr long. at first i was a lil nervous cause my mom left me and i was scared i wasn't going to pass the test. But idunno i just though of a character in the drama "boys over flowers" and how strong and independent she was standing alone. i knew i wanted to be like her and not be shyy. so i took a stand and did everything myself alone. to be honest i never felt so proud of myself haha. once i took the test, i think i completed it under 5 minuets ahah it was soo fast! pluss i was lazy to check my answers x) i just ended up missin two, not bad! but yeahh it feels great to accomplish it. my picture wasn't too bad either, so i'm satisfied! once i got home, it was so bestfriend day with jm and she came over to watch some more korean drama hahah <3 it was soo fun. then i cutted her bangs for tomorrow's school picture. i'm really thinking about opening up my own salon hahah, lets see [;

OHH!

2009-07-25T22:59:00.001-07:00

i made my first shirt today :D details later
love you grandma <3

Boys over flower <3

2009-07-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

yes, i am hooked (; <3333

I like discovering people on youtube (:

2009-07-24T19:12:00.000-07:00

youtube finally works on my laptop yay! hahah
check this guy out :D

drivers ed COMPLETED :)

2009-07-24T00:06:00.001-07:00

Tuesday: drivers ed was the soooo boring, I seriously wanted to kill myself haha. All we did was packets of questions and practice dmv. i keep getting six wrong for some reason :/ I’m scared I won’t pass the test. But yeah other than that, nothing special that day, although my teacher is pretty cool now I guess. She let’s us out early [[:

Wednesday: I guess this day was better than Tuesday. The whole time we did DVM practice permit tests. It was still torture but it was better than the packet. It was soo hilarious during lunch break, cause when jayDURR, veronica, and I were chillen at china duck, we were listening to old people conversations xD. jayDURR is soo right, old people are interesting hahah. One time they were talking about making a facebook, myspace, and twitter lol. Then they started talking about their love life xD we were cracking up, I felt bad cause I think they knew we were listening to them. After driving school I wanted to go to the movies with some church friends for eben’s 17th bday. Happy birthday btw (: but I couldn’t cause no one could take me. But they ended up watching harry potter, so I was ok afterwards. So then I just watched america’s got talent and ink heart.

Thursday: Yes! I’m finally done with drivers ed, now I can get my permit sonn [; I scheduled it for next Tuesday. I’m excited but scared I won’t pass. So today we just to another practice permit test, and this time I just missed four, good enough for me. Then we had to watch these 2 cheesy driving movies & 2 gory accidents ones. I seriously wanted to cry and throw up; it was so sad and disgusting to see all the blood. I don’t want to be too detailed but the video was really graphic. :/ once we finished the video, my teacher let us out 3 hours early so that we could automatically take our permit tests. The rest of the day I just went home and slept. I think I lost my retainers tho :/ awww. Later on I just got online and talked with peeps. I met a new person today named matt and he’s really cool haha :D but yeahh daddy’s came home today !

Vroom Vrooom Vroooooom

2009-07-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

so today was the first day of driving school. it started at nine and at first i was a lil scared cause i thought i was going to be alone. then i see my friend, jayda come i was like yay (: haha. it was really boring and hot cause there was no ac. the teacher is pretty cool altho sometimes she reminds me of mrs. gaines (geometry teacher) idunno why lol. we watched movies and went over the book etce etc. then we had an one break at 12 to go eat. jayda, veronica, and i went to this chines place called china duck it was pretty nasty but the boba was gooood (x haha so we basically just chilled for an hour then went back. the class is six hours long and i have to take it everyday til thursday. i want to take my permit on thursday but i have to wait for my daddy to come home. ayaa oh wells

Weekend UPDATE (:

2009-07-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

Friday: mmkay so i don't really remember much except staying home and watching mall cop till muh mom came home early from her job just to take my brother and i shopping and register to get my driving school (yay permit! :D) then went to ontario mills to buy our needs/wants haha. so much spending i feeel bad. && we had in n out ((((: after that, i went to my bible study at church. yeahhh i'm getting lazy to type

Saturday: Woke up at 9 to do chores and clean house, got ready buy 10 and was waiting for my brother to take me to the tenoyo's house to help cook for the fundraise but that failed cause he just took me to church and then my mom had to take me from there. So i got there at 3 -__- the first thing we (agnes,mel & parents) did was put the chicken on the stick (satay) omgshh that was so hard and tiring. I didn't know it had to be zigzag cause i just kept poking through. then james and josh came to help and they were noobs too (x after that we had a break and let all the tantes do it. the boys went to get some other boys to get the grills. next was cutting the veges which were way waaaay easier to do [; i felt like a pro cheft hahah. once the boys came back there were like all these peoples. i kinda forgot what we did next. But then i went with josh to get some candles to sell with ken, sean, and james. it was sooo much funn chilling with them! we stopped by 7/11 and i got a free icee (thanks james!) kenneth and his "Fregoss" LOL. stopped by jessica's house to see how everything was going. she was making all the cup cakes/ muffins. but the thing that made my day was james's parking skills HAHHAHAHHHA he was like freakin 10 feet away from the curb, haha oh maaan. we then had to get back to working and start putting the food in the containers. so we fromed this asembly line and i was the egg person(: haha we then went back to jessica's hoouse to help out and see if we could get free samples. but we couldn't D: Tho i was able to whip the cupcakes with my special swirls yeee! omgshh miso is soo cute :D haha. devin, agie, mel and i got back at the tenoyo's around 12ish and were like dead hahaa. i wanted to knock out at the very momment but then aggie just had to show me the korean drama "boys before flowers" and i was imediately hooked! duuude we stayed up til like 3ish to watch it on youtube. but then i finally just slept. now i'm going to start watching it hehe.

Sunday: OH BOY this day was sooooooo mutha truckin hot! when i woke up the all the guys were already downstairs cooking the satay while the girls were still sleeping BAHA xD i didn't want to wake up but i had to help set up again. so we did and blah blah blah. haha oh gee, some of them burnt the satay and so we got to eat them (x then took a shower and got ready fro church. we got there, set up and everything. i was like sweating the whole time, ewww. when it came to selling i was like soo stressed forreals, indo people are crazy fro their foood haha. but then i was called in to hear about new news about ko yongki and ci hilly, they're leaving for awhile DD: i was soo shocked and was like tearing up. now we have to have our carecell in the church. well if this is God's purpose, then let it be. After that i ate in the offices were the ac was the coolest. Freakin josh told me to eat the sambel and it was blazin hot! ughhh i was cryng the whole time. now you really owe me BOBA! then i waited for mommy to take me home and yeah. once i got hoome, went straight to my bed. yuuuup this week was fun (:

marshmellowsss :dd

2009-07-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

this blog was actually for yesterday, but mmkay so basically the only thing i did yesterday was eat marshmellows ^_^ so after tennis practice dennise, alex, and i walked to pho caused dennise owned me pho after a bet. i just got a regular bowl, and both of them got the super bowl. i ended up crying cause alex and i ended up having this "how much hot sauce can you put in your pho game" lol wtf? i guess i ended up losing cause i couldn't put anymore. duuuuuuuude my mouth hurted sooo bad! OMG dennise is soooooooooo hillarious! he still had so much food left over but he said he couldn't see it right before he was about to leave. sooo chinkyyyy! love you <3 the fact that it was hot outside didn't help much -____- once we got to alex's casa we watched avatar!!! xD (fav show of all time) then we played chubby bunny 2 times lol.... oh man i beat them soo bad, i'm like basically pro now. i think i put like 8 or 9 in my mouth. the second time i was about to throw up tho, ewww. freakin dennise missed the bag, and spitted it out on the floor bahaa noob, jkidding [; then alex's mom made us these yummy milk shakes while we were still watching avatar, i love his mom cause she always wants us to eat, soo indo haha. then kevin came and we played it again, of course i won (; OH we also made they marshmellow taffy things, it's really neat to make and eat yummm :]
please let today be funnnn ...

Fun day (:

2009-07-15T23:51:00.000-07:00

well today was probably the most proactive day i've had this whole summer. sad to say haha i'm still trying to get my head prepared for this blog, i'm soo tireeeeeeeed! so i first start the day with tennis practice at the usually 8thirty. I was a lil scared cause we were doing double games and my partner, Dianne and i lost our first game but won the second(still could have done better) but yeahh blah blah. then jm and i went with gigi to go to her house and eat some cerial ((: this whole day, jm and i tried to get some vids in for the I.E. the car rides were pretty chill. so then we went to the park to play more tennis and meet up with alex and kevbear. at the time we didn't feel like playing tennis so we played football/basketball LOL dengg gigi and i killed it at the courts babbyyy! that was freaking fun yo! later we played tennis for a while. it was funn, just that i ooober tired from the heat and everythiing. ughh so we tried to make it fun by adding grunting into the game. basically alex and kevin would make the grunting sounds for gigi and me while we played. SOO LOL FUNNY! once we couldn't more anymore we went back to gigi's house to get my retaineres that i forgot and her uke, rode to alex's to get his ukulele and guitar, then went to jm's to chillax. it was funn for awhile. played pool which freakin chelsea owned me in five minutes -__- haha then we had this lil acting game going on again where a person would talk for another person while they were actually mute. that was sooo lmfao cause chelsea and i ended up having thie epic fight scene xD oh mannnnn. that made my day. so then it was like 4 and chelsea had to go home and drop me off. once i got home ate and knocked out. once i woke up at six i had to get ready to play tennis again at 6thirty. i was excited to get out the house again and i was suprised that my mom even let me. so at the park i met up with gigi, dennise, taylor, kenny, and chris. we had multiple games. i loooooooooove playing at night, i won't get dark and it's coool ((((: so i played until 10. deng i basically had 10 hours of hardcore tennis; BEASTY! xD well imma sleeep now, practice tomorrow again

happy birthday 16th abby batuyong! love you <3

movies movies movies (;

2009-07-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

i just realized how much i love and spend on movies. (random blog again) Back in the days i hardly ever watch any and wasn't as interested. but lately my mom has been renting lots and we've been to movie theatres like 230429034 times haha. what's funny is that mmy parents are the ones in the family that wants to movie hop all the time. i guess movies is just one of our family bonding things. but omgshh i've became so addicted to themm, watching them just makes me even more interested in film making<3 okkkk this was probably my worst blog ever, but i have nothing else to type about. Today was soo boring, didn't even get to do the things i wanted. oh pooo -__- finally finised my summer book "still life with rice" LOVE IT<3 such a great boook ((: but yeah, think i'm going to write a song now

&& pattrick, i hope everything goes great with his life. it was fun talking to you on the phone for 3 hourss even if it was pure silence most of the time.xD

just can't realize

2009-07-07T22:51:00.000-07:00

king of pop is really gone D: ughhh i watched the memorial service like 5 times and cried each time. imma miss you and everything you brought to the table. thanks for filling me up and keeping me satisfied. i'm still over full and will be forever. may you live long && GOD bless yo! MICHAEL JACKSON<3<3

Independence day ohNine

2009-07-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

freeeeedom wooop woop. haha idkk. anyways, july 4th was really fun (: daddy came over for the weekend so that was even better. well at first we weren't suppose to go anywhere cause we didn't feel like doing anything. But luckily my cousin called us up to visit her at palm sprins. at first i was like ehh cause i didn't feel like going since it was really hot too. But i never been there soo why not. i slept most of the ride there then my mom freaking woke me up cause she wanted me to see all the "huge fans" haha i was like -__- "that's cool haha" omgshsh palm springs is soo cute. especially downtown with all the lil shops and everything. i called it like the mini ghetto version of beverly hills xD once i graduate or something, bestie and i are going shopping there! so we kinda got lost trying to get to this one mall, even with the gps, haha sadd. once we finally got there we ate :D but OMG it was burning hottt! i hated it. we ate pandaaa foo! lol then just walked around. it was a typical mall, like mini version of montclair plaza forreals. then we went swimming yeeeah. i didn't want to get dark so bad, that i even waited after the sun hid behind the hills. the water was still warm tho, ewwwwwwwww haha. pretty big pool, practice a lil of swimming and yeah. then they also set up a movie thing so we could watch but we had to go anyways to eat. while we were getting ready, there was a firework show near by. so i quickly watched it for like 10 minutes. ohh how it was soo pretty. all the boom boom boom (; but we had to go eat and i still wanted to watch it! going to the car i kept watching it, not wanting to miss a single second of it. As we drove to the buffet, i was still searching for it. But thenn all of a sudden we got closer and closer to it, and at the last final minutes of the fireworks, we were right in front of it inside the car<3 ohh i loved it soo much! hahah okk this is weird. Ok so we got to the buffet at 10 but it closed at 10 -__- ughhh that was a bummmer. We just decided to go to denny's thenn hahah yay (; that was pretty muchhh it. wooooop freeeeeeeeeeeeeedom ;)

fam[ily] conversations

2009-07-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

they can get pretty awkward, sometimes LOL funny, helpful in the time of need, encouraging when you're down, interesting when the topic changes to the past, helpful when you seek wisdom/advice, and just much more. It's always nice to just sit and talk to the fam once in awhile. It keeps that bond between us strong. i should thank God everyday to have such an awesome family. sometimes we can go for hours striaght talking about random stuff and it would never get boring. even though there are the werid awkward ones about "love" and stuff but it's all good. haha. also during the worst days when we hate each other to fullest, just a lil talk just makes everything better, like the day was always so chill. i'm just really glad i'll alwasy have them to talk to. ohhh how i love them <3

a day of firsts [:

2009-06-30T23:43:00.000-07:00

well this post is actually for june 30th. today was a pretty chill day. i experienced many things for the first time and hoping there will be seconds. so gigi invited me to chill at her house for a swim kick back. It was pretty funn especially the game part. Then came to driving! HAHA omgsh i might get in trouble for this. But gigi let me drive her old car around her neighborhood. I still can't believe she trusted me. But omg i wass soo bad, she even said herself -___- haha i guess it's my fault cause i wasn't looking both ways. It was funn yet nerve racking haha. i was sooo slow. then here comes ysabel all fast and shizz. funn funn [: then afterwards went home and was really bored. I told mommy i wanted to do something. So then we ended up going to ziba and get our eyebrows done [: first time babby. I was a lil ehh at first cause everyone was like it hurts and you'll cry. foooo it wass nothing haha. fasting ever tho i did get tearly. the end results were alright. Not the best but i'm pretty satisfied :] mommmy didn't want to go home yet we went to edwards cinema to wath "the proposal" we got there a minute before it started. thank god for movie trailors before the movie cause we had to goo peee lol butt awwwwwwwwh very cute movie. i love movies that give you that love affect. keeps me dreaming hahah sigh<3 i wanna watch it again hahah. i'm sad to say i'm sick of transformers already watched it twice, second time with youth from church :D but it was funn to have a mother daughter bonding. never really had one like that. so if was a first [: hope we'll have more cause we need to chill more. mmmkay night time

transformers :DDDDDDDDDDDDD<3

2009-06-26T02:18:00.001-07:00

after waiting for so long, it was hekkah worth it <3
i'm still speachless and know forsure i'll have dreams about it when i sleep
i was really mad when i found out i couldn't see it on wednsday
so my mom made us wait the next day to watch it
we wanted to watch it on imax so we come there 1hour &30mins early
but it was already sold out -_________- ughh
so we had to watch the regular version at 11:50
&& guess what there was already a line!
i was like ohmydang! hahah but we got good seats anyways
i was soo mad though because the guys in the back kept talking
i was like shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut up!! BAHAHA! [:
but yeahh, lalalalaLOVED it <3 bubble bee is my number one fav!
then of course mr. prime ;]]
i can't wait for the 3rd one! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

to the King of Pop

2009-06-26T02:08:00.000-07:00

this is actually a day late but i just got back from the movies. i guess i just felt the urge to blog about this. Yesterday, june 25, 2009 marks the death of michael jackson, mr. king of pop at the age of 50. personally this was a huge shocker for me and really hard to take in first. I was a real fan of his music his art, not really caring about how much he screwed up in life. What makes me even sadder is the fact that he was just about to make more songs. i seriously thought it could have revive this world in some wayy. He was truely an inspiration to me and many many other people of all ages. He had a great impact with his music and will be forever remembered. his songs will never be "old" but timeless. I'm really going to miss his dance moves but especially the soul and heart that he puts in his music. You can really see it in him. sighhhh it just breaks my heart. Music has just lost a whole lot of itself. well all i have to say is Rest in peace sir and may God be with you and your family. Jesus i Pray for his family, strengthen them throught these tough times. So long mj <3

Tennis w/ Dennis(e) :DD

2009-06-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

thank God for this guy! he's seriously the best tennis teacher/buddy i've ever had even if he's not pro yet ;] one day, one day. haha he makes you feel so confident and love the sport. hehe "babo babo" yesterday after practice i went to the park to practice with him, to improve more etc etc. even how much i suckked he didn't care haha. he keeps telling me to never say sorry which some i tend to do alot. OHH haha and our grunts xD (pennis)histericall! sorry that was an insider. I'm not dirty! but yeah that made my day. i love how he's so postive, encouraging, and funny. He's the only person i can actually play good with, and always there to critic and give me advide oh how i play. today was pretty funn too. had a 3 hour practice with him in the moring til 12. oomgshh he's so beasty forreals! i'm such a better player now, still slow but i'm getting there. Lol >>>> I wanna do the "bung" serve! - judith; you can only do the "swuuuush" - dennise xD now we just got to go racket shopping yeeee!!! ohh i need to buy you some shoooes ;] good luck in yooo tournament :D

Day tres @ lv !

2009-06-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

a day late for bloggin` my bad shorties ;] well i'm soo happy to be home! kinda sad tho cause i forgot what i did yesterday uhmmmm. mmkay well i woke up pretty late like around 11ish and we had to check out at 12. oh snapppppppppps! got ready and stuff. mommy and daddy wanted to visit the mutha trucka sites. I was still knocked out. but i did it for daddy. Happy father's day pops <3 love you to death. on and of course to God, my heavenly father [: we had breakfast at md. poor daddy dropped his burger. haha so the first site was red rocks. we basically just drive around rocks and take pics for an hour -__- boring no offense. I felt so bad because i slept almost the entire drive. then we went to hover dam something like that. It's that one place/scene in transformers where they're at that once place and the mini robot falls. it was pretty cool [: altho freaking hot and windy. i was also at two states at once. arizona and nevada. i think it's around the border line, i'm not sure. uhmmm then we went to eat dinner at terribles buffet. i didn't like it much but whatevers. daddy made us wait cause he wanted to get this discount card -__- epic fail. hahah all good tho. spending time with family is soo awesome. Then we had to say our goodbyes and left lv at 7ishh. the ride there was horrible cause i had to pee but mom didn't let me. finally came home at 11ish and i was booking it to the bathroom. ahhhh relief xD (awkward LOL) ANYWAYS i unpacked and knocked out cause of tennis tomorrow

tennis pract was waaaaaay better today :D then went to besties casa to wook on series
biggest video accomplishment yet to finish edititng in a day. we're getting better [: YAY

Day number two.

2009-06-21T01:21:00.001-07:00

well today was definately better than yesterday. i was suppose to go the gym in the morning but i forgot to bring shoes and it was already too late. I woke up at nine and i had 30 minutes to get ready. so then i just take a quick shower and blah blah blah. Family wen out to eat breakfast inside the base at popeye's. oh myyy it brings back so much memories<3 i miss living inside the base. so yeah after that we went shopping at bx :D (for those who don't know what bx is, it's basically a mall inside the base) it's for military peeps only foo! haha bx brought back memories too. It was super nice and looked and smelled the same. haha werido. i was just browsing around til i found my mom with all these clothes. She was going crazy cause there was this huge sale. i was like ohSNAPS lets goo! xD we spent 3 hours trying out clothes and what not. IN the end we spent $500 WOAH BABYY! but then got a military discount for $150 soo yeahh. pretty cool i guess. so after that, we wanted to go swimming so we went to my auntie hotel, "THE Hotel" omgshh it's so freaking g! I love their design so modern yess! It was freaking raging water status over there. But it sucked cause it closes at 7 and we got there at 5. The 'beach' was whaccck tho. one wave only came like every 5 minutes. booo. i'm just happy i didn't get dark ^_^ after we got back to their place we change to get ready for dinner. I was so hungy. we drove to downtown lv i think. and went to the area with the large video thingy. pretty cool. we ate at the paradise buffet :d soo good. thanks uncle for paying <3 then we went back to watch the huge video thingy and watched a band jam. haha it was funny seeing all the white people dance. (no offense) just the fact that so many people were drunk and being crazy. LOL this one person comes on stage and tells peeps to flash themselves. whataaa loser forrals. I seriously thought i was going to die tho. So much SMOKE it make me dizzy. That's the biggest thing i hate about coming here. plus the graphics etccc. after taht we just went home. yeah i'm tired.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAYY :D love you daddy <3

First day in Vegas

2009-06-20T01:14:00.000-07:00

i'm so tired ughhhh. i don't know why i'm bloggin right now since it's already one. I guess its just a habit now. anyways this weekend my mom decided that my brotherbears her and i should go to lv to visit daddy for father's day. Of course i wanted to go but at the same time i was going to miss out on a bunch of things. oh well i love my daddy way more [: this morning we tried to leave the house at 10am FAIL. we left at 12. I think it was my fault since i didn't pack yet. haha i packed as if i was going to japan or something. I even brought my laptop which explains how i'm bloggin right now. idk why i just wanted too. We were only going to stay for two nights but i brought close that could last a weeek. yeahh xD So i packed all my other stuff and blah blah blah. We had renner stay at our house to watch the dogs. Sorry about hansen eating yooo shoe :/ the ride there seemed forever. Seriously i was going crazy inside. Thank GOD for ac cause it was sooo freaking hot there. 104 geeeeez -__-. Finally at likee 330 we arrived at our hotel. ehhh not bad but not the best. I think i ate wayy to much during the ride because i felt so sick. good think they have a gym so that i can work out ;D until my dad came to the hotel, i was watching tv. i got soo bored so quick and then just fell asleep. around 530ish we left to go eat out and chill. So we went to this thai place. At first i was like heckkah no! the area seemed all ghetto looking. My dad was all saying how it was ranked 2 in lv and yeah. So we finished and ayeee pretty good stuff but i still think the one back home is betterx2934820934832 [: after eating, we decided to stroll around the city and take pictures. It was kinda late to shop so we'll do that tomorrow yay! we went to many of the famous hotels and what not. It got really awkward near the end because all these people started to pass out those "naked cards/pics" and i was like omggggg wtf. My lil brother was there and yeahh. Plus i couldn't even breathe, my lungs hurt from all the smoke -_-
Oh Jesus, please help this city. suchhhh a bad bad bad bad place. Not exactly the best place to have family bonding. but yeahhh. got back to the hotel at 11 and i was beat. We prolly spent an hour trying to look for the car ughhh i was soo pissed! and the fact that it was still hot even at night. not coool. My feet hurts like a mother. fun day i guess. I'm happy that my hotel offers free internet. :DDDD haha. ok then gottah sleep cause i need to wake up early for gym. peaceeee bby!

Always prescribe laughing :D

2009-06-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

seriously laughing is my medicine. through ups and especially the downs, it definately heals me. Plus is always healthy for you. It adds extra years towards your life. haha sweeeeeeet. idk why i'm talking abou this. just a random topic [: well actually i was suppose to type this yesterday but i was supper lazy. Yesterday i hate my morning tennis practice and then afterwards i went to denny's witht he everyone [: it was super funn. Thanks best bud for everything. OH and thanks gigi for the ride home! well yeah... later my mom had to go to fullerton to get something from my cousin for las vegas. Before we left my younger brotherbear and i got into this major fight. Which was pretty bad. I thought my day was just going to be full of bs. THEN my mom made my work the stupid gps while driving and i got this aweful major head ache. I almost threw up with is one of my biggest fears. Thank God i didn't [: anyways while the grown ups were chit chatting, it was just jon and me. We just started talking and making each other laugh by having this facial expression content && other stuff. OMG is was soooooo funny! LMBO!!!! like forreals i never seen myself so chinky. I couldn't open my eyes for like 10 minutes. My stomach started to cramp and my cheeks were all stiff. SOOO FUNNY <3>

Well today was pretty fun. In the morning i had a birthday breakfast with alex and jm and his house. It sucked because i was late since they were the ones who woke me up at 714. Afterwards we walked to tennis practice. It was sooo bad! i sucked soo much but then at the end, we werwe serving and i was soo bomb! not to be conceited or anything. That's basically the only thing i can do right in tennis. I know sad :/ Plus i think i got a tan. The sun is coming back out to burn me again. booooo :[. Walking home was chill since alex brought his uke "michelle" haha. I'm still better than you! kiddding ;D. OMGSHSHHSHSHS before we were going to part our separate ways, we took a video of our handshake and then freakin jm all of a sudden trips over herself. IT WAS SO HILLARIOUS! the best part was that we caught it on carmer<3>

woooohooo las vegas baby!

summer makes you fat

2009-06-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

man i've been such a lazzybutt. eating and sleeping, eating and sleeeping all day. seriously i've beeen soooooooo bored. i'm so use to the school vibe, always finishing homework on sunday nights. but now without it i can't really find anything to doo. so i eat (nice alternative -___-) i mean i don't want to be spending most of my days online cause then i won't be able to get off. i try to get outside but the sun came out. no need for tanning hahah ;] this is why i sometimes want school. i also tried brotherbear bonding but that kinda of failed. but aye it was funn. playing wii with them is the funest thing on earth! haha altho i've been make videos lately. I'm now starting this new series on youtube called "The I.E." (Inland Empire). It's just episodes of our lives here. Just something proactive to do over the summer. So check us out on youtube: signaturejayy !! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. i've been trying to get my tennis back in me. But ohmydeng i suck so bad. first practice was soo horrible. please dennise you got to help me. OH and thanks for the sushie! i loved it<3. mmmmkay well i think that's about it for today? byee!

omgshomgsomgsh transformers!!!! <3

Party Week !!

2009-06-14T00:56:00.000-07:00

Oh mann. So many parties this week. It's always like this, last week of school followed by parties. On thusday i had an end of the year swimming kick back at kelsey's casa with all my fwends [: i wanted to swim but the weather was a lil bleh. so i just chilled eating all the food. heckk yeah! LOL "I need my CHICKEN" then i had a jam sesh with brandoo && lala <3 later on i got bored so i decided to look around her house. ohmydeng her room is freaking dope with all the posters everywhere. haha and then i guess i was in photog status and taking pics of tif&brandooo. awwh, they're so cuteeeee forreals. so yeahh fun funn ;]

Friday was Janice's 21st bday party. being the asain that i am, i came like 6 hours late. bahaha freaking started at 3 i came at 9. && the first thing i do is EAT. duhh [: i really didn't doo much there. OHHHHH there were drinks (ehemmm ehemm MATT!) and yes i got a lil curious. but nahhhh i didn't drink. and my leaders were there -___- hahah kiddding! the weather was still bleh and cold. so i basically just watch the guys play bball. thenn all of a sudden BAM! i see wongso on the flooo. everyone was like swwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwosh towards him. he like sprained his knee or something. pooor guy :/ good thing ci irene was there. haha later on i just watched iron man. once it hit 12 i almost knocked out. so then i went home [:

Saturday !! Aha yessssss best party of the weeek! It was Jenn's 18th bday party! it was all space high-techish. shoooooooooooooot. her house is meggah boss. soo big it makes mine look like a shack. Bahahah! so i was just recently informed that it was a semi-formal event. i had to do some last minute shopping ;) the party started at six and i just finished shopping at five. brotherbears and i left the house at six-thirty :D we get there around 7ish and we were still on time haha. bearly anyone was there. so we just chilled until it was time to eat. haha it was soo much fun cause on each table there were these lil squishy blue balls that kept everyone entertained [: soo addicting to play with. the foood was pretty goood. but the highlight of the party was when To the moon and Back performed !!! omgshhh they are soo talented. i'm jealous. they kept me hyped the entire time. i lalallalLOVE their love story cover <3 bleh i hurt my head when vanny was trying to put the squishy balls in my dress. i freaked and when back an banged my head on allison's forehead. sorry allison <3 but yeah took pics for the rest of the days. what a night to remember <3

dengggggg i'm broke now :/ crap.

Bitter/sweet momments like these

2009-06-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

high school graduation is truely a time to take in. all the tears and laughter that are made make everything oh so bittersweet. today i attened my cousin, Jackson's high school graduation at west covina high. it sucked that we weren't able to find seats, so we had to stand the entire time. He graduated above a 4.0 and is now about to attend college in maine with a full time scholarship. Congrats cousin! but seeing everything go by was just woah. i knew that everyone was excited to graduate and were happy. There were also some that shedded tears near the end. So many goodbyes it almost made me cry. But the smile on my cousin face made me feel soo jubilent inside. I knew that day would soon come for me. And now i really truely want to live my highschool life to the fullest. each day i would always complain to my mom saying how much i hate it and how much i miss 8th grade. that's a problem with me. i always seem to want to live in my past. but as i do it, i miss out in the presence, which makes me want to relive it later in the future. aha do you get it? it's basically all a cycle. over and over again. I realize that i'm basically wasting my dang time. knowing that there's no rewind in life, i shouldn't be spending it like that. Now i'm totally commited in moving on. sophomore year, here i come ;D

oh and before the graduation i went to my friend, kelsey's end of the year pool party. It was pretty fun i mean the foood was AWESOMEEE YO!! haha. i didn't want to swim because it was way to cold. overall chill time [:

&& congrats to all the grads this year in 09! well done guys <3>

to my azn fam<3

2009-06-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

today i decided that i wanted to take another picture with the azn fam wearing white like old times after chilling with some of them at the park. idk i just be memorable and felt like we needed to get close again. so i told jm and abby. and then all of a sudden i see that there's this whole drama/fight about adding new peeps or not. It got to the point that some people didn't want to take the picture if peeps were added or not added in. I was like woah calm down! then some peeps totally went off on me which totally pissed me off. i just came to the conclusion that i didn't care, i just wanted a picture of everyone this freshmen year. I wasn't able to take that many this year and plus i lost most of them since my laptop broke :/ It's not that i'm going to replace any of you guys. the aznfam[ily] will always and forever be in my heart. you guys made my 8th year the best year in my life. it's just the fact that we can't live in our past. we need to move on with life. we can't be excluding people cause they weren't part of it from the start. I'm not saying that we won't ever have this again. we all know who the exclusives aree ;] && plus BIGGER is better !! ;DDD haha anyways. just know that i love you guys no matter what the circumstances are<3 even if some of us are in a different place. lets not exactly "change" it but just make it "bigger" in a wayy haha. alright ilyyyyyy guys. peace!

freshmen year over already?

2009-06-08T22:34:00.000-07:00

wow i can't believe it's already done. Today is the second to last dayyy. wooohoo and booo too. haha it's like i still remember 8th grade like it was a day ago. well i'm happy that i got to finish my hardest finals today. noww it's part part partyy ;D aha, kidddddddddin yo! today after school, i walked to h.i.s. to see my friendsss and mintyy<3>

asian family mini reunion! :D

2009-04-26T17:14:00.000-07:00

well yesterday was bombaaaay!
it started off bleh withh chores
but it became funnnnn like bam!

kay well, my bud sean was gonna visit
so we decided to chill at the park
sooo my bro dropped me off
however i was the only girl at the time, so he was a lil scared LOL.
then i saw SEANNNNN, jonjon, brandon, jared, and nhan.
we decided to go to wendys to eat
soooo we walked cause we too cool to drive ;]
anywhooo we first went to this expesive icescream place
&& played witht thier chairs :DD fun fun funnnnnnn!

then walked to wendys to get soooome real fooooood
i just got a chocolate shake yummmmmm.
the whole time i was trying to call up the asian fam
but it seamed like no one could go

til we came back to the park from our nature walk,
peeps started to come! yeeeeee boii
first i think it was kathie,then jm & van, abby and michelle!
oh and of course jeremy
woooooot i was sooooooke!

after chilling for a couple of minutes at the park
we all decided to go to vons
since kathie, van, and jeremy wanted to buy cooking things
it was funnn to chill with everyone again. especially bud
at vons we were going to play like a game but
freakin sean, jonjon, and brandon had to go!
i was freakkkkin mad, ahaaa
but i had some vids so its all good

once they left, we played chubby bunny part 2! :D
it was michelle, abby, me, jm, van, jeremy, and nhan.
OMGGGGGG nhan is soooooooo funnny LMFAO!
his facial expression are just priceless when playing the game.
goood thing i took a video of it xD

but yeah, then jm and i had to go :/
so we used rode her bike with her in front
omg that was funnnn too!

i was soooo tired once i got home
then my mom decides to have family time and watch a movie
at first i was a lil ehh cause i wanted to chill with bud at vg
but then when she told me we were watching 17 again
i was like OOOOOOH BABBY yes ;]
movie was funnny && i love it (zac efron <33)>
hahah but that was my funnn saturday
iloveaznfammmmm forvever <3

till senior year, ;]

Leaders & Ministers mini-Retreat 4.4-5.09

2009-04-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

oh baby, i don't think i had this much funn in a long time. Like for real, the last time i had a great weekend was the one at FEEL the Beat! But this weekend just totally the best ever. Well this friday was actually nothing special. I was totally tired from the whole week, so much work and testing. However i was able to make another video for signature jayy! (check us out on youtube!) Anywho, i was suppose to prepare for the my leaders minister retreat for tomorrow since it was a like a sleep over. And to be honest, i didn't want to go at all. Like seriously, i was out of it. Thought something inside told me that i should go.
Saturday i had to wake up early beacause it started at 9am! sooo that was pretty bleh. I actually got ready and everything but i had to wait for big bro jo. he wasn't even up at 9 -__-. So we were being indo and an hour late. ughhhhh that was embarassing! So i got there and they started with praise and worship. At the time i was pretty mad and tired. Anyways, Paster Paul preaches for a while. And it was base having visions. He thought us to understand our purpose in life. That vision keeps you focus, dictates your choices, attracts right mentors, sponsors, friends, and creates passion & passion creates motivation. But my favorite phrase that he said was "Passion is of the heart, Vision is of the spirit) However in order to test my visions, i needed to be close and right with GOD. and i know at the time i wasn't.
So after his preaching, we had lunch (celebrating his 50th birthday! with sprinkles cupcakes!) and then went on another short session. This time chi hilley preached. It was very inspiring because we mainly talked on how we wanted to improve in our youth ministries, especially music. We watced a video on how hillsong church became a mega church, and that really gave me this desire to press harder, so that we could just be like them or maybe even better some day.
We then had a 3 hour break til 5:30(dinner).OH my gosssssssssh. that was sooo hecktic. Well during the time, we didn't not really what to do. So a lot of us just decided t o go on youtube on the big screne. So yeah we were watching videos and then it came down to my videos on my channel! and i was like NOOOOO becaues eveyone was there and i didn' want them to see like as a group, cause for some reason i find it embarassing. but yeah my heart was like pounding sooooo hard and my face was all red. but then people were actually encourage after seeing my vids, i guess cause i wrote my own song. hahah -__- but stilllll duuude! xD
well the break was done and now was lunch time! yummy asian fooooooood :d haha. then came another session. This time my youth pastor, ko yonki told us to have our own fellowship with God for an hour and seek our vision for what ministy we were in. In my case it was the music ministy. So i go find my own place in some random room near the window. At first i didn't know what to vision. Then i remember that i need to be close with God first because i knew i wasn't. I have to admit, my life had been going downward lately, and i've been pushing God aside. By doing that, things just got worst and worst for me. Especially this past week. I wanted to talk to someone but i felt there was really no one out there. I was reliving this bad phase in my life. I felt so empty all the time and unloved for some reason. Plus when i got church, it's like i lost the fire for God, and sometimes i would pretend everything was ok with me. So while beginning my fellowship with God, i just cry out for forgiveness, i asked him to renew my heart and fill it was his love, spirt, passion. Then all of a sudden i felt like this heavy burden was just lifted from my life. Then i just started crying out of now where. after that i was talking to God about everything, and it was interesting cause there were times where i would just laugh at random times. It's like he was actually there right next to me. The feeling was just great. Then i just started praying for God to give me a vision for our youth ministy. He's given each of us our talents for music. But do we have the passion, the desire to make music unto him? I know that i have the passion to play the guitar, but i want an even bigger passion to play it for Jesus, to express my love towards him. I believe if we truely do it for him and commit to it, then great things will happen in the futuer. I already see us as a mega church with 1000s of youth just praising and worshipping god. During my fellowship, i was also singing aloud ^_^ that was funn. But this time with God, made me realize something in my life that i have to change. I need to learn to commit in spening time with God everyday. It's truely uplifting and helpful. I just can't belive it took me this long to realize something i new that i should be doing. But i'm not talking about the usuall prayers everythday, i'm talking about like 30 minutes of fellowship and reading the Bible. God does really listen to you.
So after an hour was done, we got back together for more praise and worship. at the momment, i was really feeling the spirit of god flowing through the room and especially through me. Whenthe song "one desire"-hillsong was playing, i felt so relieved. Then all of a sudden the i was filled with joy and started bursty with tears. I never felt this happy and peaceful. It was like to a mirical for me. I felt like i was in heaven, seriously worshipping GOD, that's how amazing the feeling was. It was sooo real and i felt like i never wanted it to stop. The lyrics especially touched me. "this is my cry, my one desire, just to be where ou are lord, now and forever. It's more than a song, my one desire, is to be with you, is to be with you, Jesus." SOOOOOO amazing <3>
wee then had to pray for someone, and i chose to be with my bro, jason. At first i was hesitant becasue i didn't know what to say to him. And i was especially scared be ko yonki was right next to us. Bu then God just started talking to me. it was kinda funny, cause i was like crying (again). But when it was his turn to pray for me. OHHHHH man was i surprised. He like knew everything that was happening in my life. the thing that i remember most was that " to use your talents for God" he told me that God has given me many talents and that i should put them to waster, but use them to glorify Jesus. I was like WOW. I was jus thinking can this day get any better? but it wasn't over yet....
After that, we were finished for the day, and it was like already 11. So we could chill for just a lil while since we had church tomorrow. I decided that i wanted to do the 4 chord medly that i saw on youtube with aj, jasmine, cathy, randolph, rb with the music ministy. And surprisingly they wanted to do it too! i was like omg! so we went into a small room with like 20 people xD and started practing. It was soo hot lol! josh (nocturnal buddy) was playing the guitar with eben, josh k was rapping in the start, me and devin sung "where is the love" and no one' with rebecca and melissa harmonizing, job sung "realize, james and matt sung "superman", everyone sung "i'm yours", and then all the boys( josiah, josh, jason, james, matt, job, josh, eben, nathanxD) "she will be loved", and then last everyone at the end singing "no one's oh oh oh" hahah! BUT SPEICAL THANKS TO AGNES, who recorded the whole thing, and ko jesse for letting us use his camera <3>
eventually i got supper tired, but i didn't want the day to end because it was soooo great! but it did -___- lol. the next day we got up at 7 and went out to eat at BC cafe with everyone. Oh my it was funn but the food was a lil ehhh. now i feel like a family. It was a lil funny tho cause at church almost eveyrone was tired from staying up late last night. Plus we all had to dress up hawaiin style caue of the theme for pastor paul and tante joyce 50th birthday! the churched looked so pretty. But there was this one awkward incident where this one guy like asked out every girl at church. It was ssoooooooooo crazy werid scary. haha but yeh, that was basically it. (:
I've learned soo much. And this was such a blessing experience. I don't regret coming one but. it's amazing to see how great our god is. Now i feel like i'm given this new passion and desire to praise and worship God with my all everyday. I was to inspire and show other peeps the love of JEsus, i want them to experienc what i just experienced yesterday. People, time is running out and Jesus is coming really soon. Please don't take things for granted and lost lose time. I am now totally committed to do whatever God has planed for me. I'm ready :D

Wow, Finally

2009-03-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

I guess i finally decided to make one
after debating for awhile, haha weee (: